Written October 2007

Falling in Love

Too many relationships are based on physical and sexual attraction. It took me many years to discover the shallow thinking of so many people.

I had lived a sheltered life growing up on the farm. I thought when you said, "I love you", it came from the heart and was spoken truthfully. I had no idea it was merely a way for another person to use you, for what ever was convenient for their needs.

I failed miserably when it came time to pick a life time mate. After two complete failures, I gave it up as a lost cause. I threw myself into my job and raising my two children. Even that proved to be a challenge, for the whole world was changing so fast. The children grew up, left and I was a lone. It felt as if a cocoon had enveloped my life.

Then one night I wakened from a realistic dream. There was no one to discuss it with, but there it was popping up when I least expected.

The phone rang; my brother was gone from lung cancer. The trip to his funeral was 800 miles. Everyone was on edge during the trip. After wards, I was asked to stay and help my brother's wife. I really didn't know her, but something kept tugging at my heart to stay. She didn't take to being a lone, and would drag people back to the house all hours of the day and night. Then she decided to play match maker. I flatly turned the gentleman down three times, but no one listened.

There I was, in my mid forties and this man was very attentive. Everything was falling into place so fast. As we drove up the long curving driveway past the little vine covered church, to the home place, my dream from six months earlier finally made sense. I knew I had found my soul mate and he also knew he had found his soul mate.

It hasn't been hard or painful to love completely for either of us. Nineteen years later we are still so very much in love.

I add this with a heavy heart.

Just over one month ago my beloved passed and has gone to where no harm will ever befall him.
He was diagnosed with a very rapid growing cancer two days after this article was composed. One month later he was gone.
I shall forever be grateful for the nineteen years of complete happiness and that he at least knew not to pay any attention to my saying I did not wish to date him.
Please take my true words and don't turn your back to soon, or you may never know true, complete happiness.