Janie on living.

"I want to live".

The daily calendar diary from her birth flashed as did the lightning. Janie was born amidst the violence of WWII with all the doctors and medicine being sent to the war. It was June of 1944 and Janie was two months old. It was haying season and all the available relatives had come to help. They also wanted to see the beautiful new baby girl. One of the relatives was contagious with whooping cough. This was the beginning of almost a year long fight for survival. Every day the calendar read, still no medicine, we almost lost little Janie again today.' Then on April 8, 1945 the entry read, Janie made it today she is one year old.'

The year Janie turned seven a tragic accident took the sight of her left eye. This was the beginning of a life long struggle for survival in many different forms. At age thirteen the operations were still not successful. Then at the tender age of seventeen she married and eleven months later gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. She felt that life was good and she was content and happy. Then at age nineteen Janie was informed by her doctors that the left eye would have to be removed immediately. Little did Janie know that she was also four weeks pregnant? The operation was successful and she then received the newest style plastic eye that moved just like the other eye. She also gave birth to a lovely baby girl. Life seemed to be good, but on her twenty-first birthday her husband decided to celebrate and left Janie home to tend the children. She was awakened near three in the morning barely able to breathe and feeling heavy blows to her face around her left eye. She could feel the life slipping from her body as her drunken husband choked and beat her attempting to kill her. Survival hit Janie as she found enough strength to fight free not knowing that her three year old son had already ran from the house for

:

Help. The last words she heard before she collapsed were, "I can't stand your eye." He ran and was never seen or heard from again.

Janie not only picked herself up and carried on but she also had two small children that she had to see survive too. Janie threw herself into raising her children and for many years didn't feel the need for a husband. As she headed for what is known as the middle ages she again attempted a relationship which failed as well. She returned home from a family funeral and found her picture tacked to the garage wall with a bullet hole through the left eye. Janie's survival instinct kicked in fast as she and her newly widowed sister-in-law packed what few clothes and personal items they could and left and never looked back.

Janie wanted nothing more to do with men at this point in her life but fate change the path once again. She had refused to date this one persistent gentleman. Then due to a fake note Janie ended up on a date with him. That night both their lives changed and a love so true and complete caught them both off guard. They spent the next nineteen years in wedded bliss, happiness and love. Janie was content as was her husband. Then in two short months happiness was snatched from her by a quick growing cancer. Her husband was taken from her and she was once again faced with survival alone.

Janie lived quietly doing what she had done before so many years ago. Then two days after her sixty-fourth birthday a note arrived on her computer simply stating, "I'll be watching for you." Feelings swept through Janie identically to the ones the day she had won the lottery so many years ago. These feelings always meant only good things to come. Sure enough he was there and a friendship grew and as with many there were some hitches to over come. That we have done. Janie will continue to survive but she wants desperately to see these words in her next instant message.

"I want to live."